A Sort of Play by Peter Mortimer

This bizarre new play by Peter Mortimer opens with the longest and most colourful exchange of insults ever heard on a theatre stage. Before long, one character is forced to recite a speech in Latin, while another finds the plot cannot advance further until he can answer the question, "what is the opposite of string?"

He manages to answer it.

She's on Toast is an absurdist tour de force, a dizzy display of verbal gymnastics, exploding nonsense and literary sleights of hand as our two main characters struggle to deal with the arrival of the inexplicable and unpredictable personage, Box.

This was Cloud Nine's seventh production at The Low Lights, North Shields oldest hostelry and to cater for the growing popularity of these unique events it ran for six performances from March 4th - 6th 2014: Each night offered a choice of an early performance (6pm) with delicious home-made soup and a roll or at 8pm with an opening half of first rate live music performed by a selection of the region's highly talented troubadours.

"Multiply Eugene Ioneso by N F Simpson, blend in a teaspoon of Artaud and enrobe in The Goon Show and you have Peter Mortimer's latest excursion into absurdist theatre, She's on Toast. ...

"Weird? Yes. Off the wall? Yes? Barking mad? Yes. But the play has an internal logic which makes a kind of sense which carries us along and, in the process, makes us laugh loud and long. ...

"The packed audience in this most tiny of spaces, although somewhat bemused, thoroughly enjoyed themselves. As did this reviewer."

Peter Lathan, British Theatre Guide

"A unique experience."

Noreen Rees, News Guardian